What the fuck is
Christmas?
What the fuck is
Christmas?
It's mistletoe and carols in the snow
What the fuck is
Christmas?
What the fuck is
Christmas?
It's giving gifts to ones
you love the most
Oh, I think I get it now
What?
What
Christmas is about
I'll give some thoughtful gifts
That you can't live without
Oh, thanks
We cut trees down outside
Why?
And cover them with lights
Because we love deforestation
And
Earth's temperature in
flation
Fireplace burns bright
But now he's the bad one
We celebrate the world's demise
What the fuck is
Christmas?
What the fuck is
Christmas?
This holy day when our
saviour was born
What the fuck is
Christmas?
When three kings witnessed the miracle,
the coming of our
Lord.
Oh, I think I understand.
Okay.
So there were three wise kings.
And they showed up and
had a bunch of drugs.
And then baby
Jesus did all the drugs.
And then they got mad and the three
kings killed all the animals because
Jesus did all the drugs.
Is that correct?
Am I right?
Christmas is actually about the
evil beast of the north.
He was feared for all the
human skins he wore.
All his victims suffered gruesome ends.
He was a reindeer spirit of death.
And he severed every limb and head.
And bathed in the blood of every elf,
woman and child.
As his laser nose boiled them alive.
And their skulls crackled and
their eyeballs burst.
And he guzzled down all of it.
Because charred intestines
just tasted so...
Sorry.
What the fuck is
Christmas?
What the fuck is
Christmas?
It's mistletoe and carols in the snow
What the fuck is
Christmas?
What the fuck is
Christmas?
Okay, so after the stupid gifts,
after the
Jesus baby does all of the
drugs from the kings,
after the trees are cut down
and the earth dies,
the reindeer -murderer -laser -death
-boy comes and boils everyone alive?
What the fuck?