Tonalidad: Ab major
Verse 1
G
Am
I can't hang out with them anymore.
G
I can't deal with...
Gm
I just hang out by myself. I just got a dog.
G
Bm
Do you have dogs?
G
You guys have dogs?
Yeah.
I got a Basset Hound, like,
C
cause he's funny.
G
Yeah, like, I never understood why people act like the
dog still serves a purpose.
Gm
Like, he just lives here.
G
Like, he's got a loud bark.
People are like, oh, I he's a good watchdog.
Yeah, unless the intruder has ham.
Oh, oh, you got ham.
Oh, he's in there.
Go kill him.
I'm going to eat this ham
and then we'll reconvene for more
ham, hopefully.
F
I guess I'm your dog now.
G
My name's Barney.
Fucking sellout.
I liked, it took me a while to get
a dog
because I lived in an apartment
building.
They didn't allow dogs.
They allowed cats.
Somebody's like, why don't you get a cat?
And I'm like, oh, why don't
I just start kissing dudes?
Sure, why don't I do that?
C
Can't be a single guy with a cat.
G
You're sending the wrong
message
to everybody. Either I'm gay or I'm a
villain. what mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can't have the guys over for the game.
Hey, what's up, fellas?
This is Mittens.
All right? know, mittens will fuck
you up, all right?
I'm gonna go put on my lipstick,
but you guys hang out for a while.
Anybody seen my girdle, huh?
I don't like anything.
I'm a dog person, I guess.
I don't like weird pets.
I don't like when people get pets
that shouldn't be pets.
Like I went to a pet store.
It was actually somewhere
around Akron.
It was years ago.
They were selling a kangaroo.
with the pouch and shit.
I'm like, who's gonna buy that?
They were really trying to sell
me on it, too.
Oh, they make great pets.
They're clean, they're quiet,
they don't eat much.
Yeah, if I can get them in the car
without them beating the shit
out of me, I'll be fine.
It's a kangaroo,
all right?
Have you seen Looney
F
Tunes?
G
They don't fuck around,
all right?
They'll kick the shit out of you.
They don't like other kangaroos,
Gm
G
let alone waking up next to me.
Oh, morning, Hoppy.
All right, well,
we'll talk later or something.
Weird pets.
A friend of mine got a ferret.
What a dumb pet.
I've never even seen it.
All it does is hide.
I go over to his house, I'm like, where's
the ferret?
He's hiding.
Well, in that case, I got a ferret, too.
All right, he's,
he's around here somewhere.
I'm just, I'm just not out 400
bucks like you are, dipshit.
Yeah, yeah.
C
I got a pet knock -nest, too.
G
We'll find him next time.
What a dumb pet.
Some shit's just not a pet.
Fish tank is not a pet.
It's a TV that you gotta feed,
all right?
He doesn't know you
every time he swims around a tank.
He's like, ah, who the fuck is that?
I don't know. Ah, same guy.
I'm gonna go hide in the castle.
I'm a dog person.
G
I don't, you know,
I don't understand.
You can't just get a dog
C
anymore either.
G
You know,
everybody's a breed expert now.
Like, it matters.
Like, I wanted to get a bulldog.
A friend of was like, pfft,
you don't want a bulldog.
It's like one of the dumbest breeds
there is.
It's a dog. Who cares?
I mean, he doesn't have any
responsibilities.
I mean, I'm not going
to have him running errands
or doing my taxes or anything like
that.
I'm just going to pet him
or something, all right?
I don't care.
I wouldn't want that anyway.
I wouldn't want a smart dog living with me.
C
I'd feel like he's judging me
G
and shit all the time.
don't need that kind of pressure.
I can't believe
you're watching that movie.
The book's so much better.
Oh, shut the fuck up.
You're a dog.
Nobody asked you.
I'm not really into big dogs.
Big dogs scare me.
You know, like,
F
it's fine if you can control them.
G
Fine, but I hate when I go to, you know,
the park,
people have big dogs.
They can't control them.
F
Then they make excuses for them.
G
Oh, he's just playing.
Oh, I'm just bleeding, all right?
Either way,
you're getting some papers in the mail,
all right?
Your dog is too big.
If your dog's dick is bigger than mine,
I mean, shouldn't you have to wear clothes
or something?
I mean, really, you're outside.
I mean, there's kids and me, all right?
I mean, we don't want to see them.
Plus, once you see dog balls,
you can't stop looking at fucking dog balls.
I mean, it's just, you lock in.
It's like, you know, you look at the sun,
it's like, ah, it hurts,
but I'm gonna look again.
G
All right, it just, it hurt again.
Like, I hate when I go over to
G
somebody's house
with a big dog
and he just leaves me alone with it. Like,
I'm just cool with hanging out
with this fucking bear
G
while you're in a shower.
G
It's one thing, if I come
to your house
Am
and your chi huahua gets
and humps my leg,
G
it's fine, we're still friends.
Your Rottweiler could bend
me
over the fucking sink,
you know what mean?
Uh, dude, get your dog off me.
Yeah, I think he's trying to fuck
me right now.
Why are you not...
put the camera down
and get your fucking dog, all right?
From the bottom of my heart,
I want to thank you guys
for coming out.
This really is a dream come true
for me to be here at Reagan
and do this.
Thank you very much.
Thanks you guys.
Thank you.
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AfinadorE A D G B E
AcordesG Am Gm Bm C...
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