Tonalidad: D major
Intro 1
Ab
Gb
E
Gb
E
Diarrhea's
Verse 1
Dbm
E
coming back,
Dbm
E
Dbm
E
my family's under attack
Bm
It's not so great, I do agree,
D
I've also got a bad wedgie
Bm
E
Thought I could
prove I'm not a baby,
but now all of us need saving
Bm
Brought my hopes into the ocean,
D
sorry if a fish has choken
G
F#
Sure a lot is happening,
but I wish I brought my napkin thing
Dbm
Ab
E
It might have helped to
calm us down
Dbm
Everybody hush!
Don't make a sound!
But why are you doing all this?
Ab
Okay, good question, I'll allow it
Look, I'm not bad
G
Eb
G
Eb
G
Eb
Even though I'm not a bad person
So what kills one carnivore?
Ab
It's just because I'm determined
G
To finally get what I think
Eb
that I'm deserving
And to turn it into something worthy
Ab
F
Bb
Eb
Trust me, I'm sure you will agree
Bb
A
Would you like to hear
Gb
Dbm
Gb
Eb
F
my mas ter plan?
Eb
F
Fm
Ab
Okay, can you answer faster?
Fm
Ab
Cause I asked you
Would you like to hear my
Um, yes?
Eb
Okay, that's more like it
Ab
Gb
I'm so glad that you asked
Bbm
Dbm
You see, I'm in the Fishoulder
Family Trust
Gb
Because I'm in the family
Dbm
He's from the bad part of the family
He means the poor part
They're bad because they're poor
Gb
Shut it! Shut your front door!
Ab
Ab
Okay. Okay. I said okay.
G
So, in this family trust you see,
Ab
you're ineligible to receive benefits
if you've been convicted of a felony.
G
Eb
Ab
And every single one of them has been.
All except for Cousin Calvin,
E
Dbm
because he never got caught.
Ab
Yeah, baby. Shush!
G
Cm
So, I frame him, and boom! Now,
Ab
if something unfortunate happens to Calvin and Felix,
Eb
whom will they suspect?
Cm
C
Cm
Ab
Not me. No, no, no.
Why would they?
Something unfortunate
is going to happen to us?
Uh, yes.
Surprise.
Oh, poo.
Wait, both of us?
You were so insistent
Ab
about going with your
G
brother to Cuba.
Ab
Ab
I bought an outfit. Yes, we know!
F
But let's just say your submarine isn't
Gb
going to go to Cuba. Oh. Cancun?
It won't make it out from under the pier.
Bbm
Oh, my. Oh, dear.
F
Did you think that sub was going
to make it to Cuba?
Hmm, I think we might have gotten a
Bb
F
little too excited about the sub idea.
I mean, isn't it just an old ride?
Ab
Gb
Yes, it runs on tokens.
But not the best frame job, right?
F
mean, why bury Clown Candy
down in front of our restaurant
Gb
and then wait six years?
Ah, right.
I didn't bury him in front
F
of your restaurant
and I didn't want to wait six years!
SIX YEARS!
E
G#
E
G
Easy, easy.
D
G
Maybe we should hold off on the questions.
A
I had it all worked out.
A top -rate murder!
Bm
A
Bm
F#
I shoot Mr. Carney with Calvin's gun.
B
I stick him in a pile of dirt
C#m
G#
or whatever yucky stuff was
C#m
near the entrance to the wharf.
D
G
I leave the stupid foot sticking
D
out
G
Bm
A
so someone would be sure to see it.
But little did I know
that some numbskull back
G#
hoe operator
working for the city
was gonna scoop up that pile
A
Bm
without even checking for dead carnies!
B
Ab
I come back, I've got nobody,
I didn't know where they brought the dirt,
Gb
Gbm
and it's not like I could go around asking,
Gb
Hey, what's the word?
Ab
Did anyone find any dead guys
Dbm
Ab
this tall, kind of a biter?
G
It was a nightmare!
Ab
But thankfully, blessedly,
your stupid pipe burst
and saved the day.
Ab
The skeleton was found,
frame job back on,
and it's true what they say,
good things happen to good people.
Wait a second,
Gb
is this all about your silly Megapark idea?
Bbm
Yes, this is about my Megapark.
Fm
My, much more efficient and profitable
Ab
than your stupid beer Mega Park!
Gb
It'll have gift shops, so many gift shops
Bbm
And so much parking
Fm
And I'll get the best marketers
Ab
to do the best marketing
Gb
Bbm
And indoor motion simulator rides
F
If you could see my scale models
Ab
Then you'd understand why
Cotton Candy Dan had to die.
It's going to be so worth it.
Because business dreams are
about business.
They're not about dreams.
That's not true.
All right, then.
I think I got it figured out.
G
I think that this is what I need.
Eb
G
You're going to all get in the sub,
Eb
and then I'll launch you in the sea.
Ab
Eb
Ebm
Gb
Ab
Eb
Oh, no, I don't think that's right.
Ab
No, that's right.
You won't be able to get out.
Eb
The handle's broken from inside.
G
Then the pier will be on fire.
Eb
What? Well, you caused it.
Then you died.
Ab
Oh, oh, oh, that's so careless of us
Bb
Yeah, what they'll say is this
Metal wheels on metal tracks
A
will cause a spark, a little flare
Whoops, the drapes, they catch on fire
F
and it just gets worse from there
Up it goes into the mole hill
Ab
Which now seems to be quite full
of cute and fluffy fairy birdies
Bb
I am a bull -stuffed animal
So they don't come to life?
And then the mole hill
B
turns into mole hell
B
G
That's what we call dad's back
We do? Oh, oh, oh,
Eb
I have so many prob
C
F
C
lems with this plan
C
Like what? People on the pier?
Bb
Gone I'm closing early, what else?
You were burning the fire too?
A
Nope, I made a fuse out of cooking oil,
Ab
sugar,
Dbm
and balloon string.
E
All things you'd find at an
Dbm
E
F#
amusement pier.
It's gonna go up the stairs,
E
C#m
over the roof of this stupid room.
And our some investigators
F#m
F#
F#
E
C#m
will never sus pect a thing.
E
My fuse and my brilliant flam
G#
mable stuffed animals idea
F#
gives me just enough time
G#
to get back to the gym, which is my alibi.
I went there just an hour ago.
I said the steam room was too steamy.
Eb
Eb
I made a pretty damn big show.
G#
Then I slipped out the window
and that's how I got here now.
C
G#
I just sneak back in through the window
I've been at the gym three hours.
I don't know if you have a three
-hour gym buddy.
E
Sorry! Yeah, it's not believable.
C#m
G#
No, you're too pasty.
Also, your mega park is mega dumb.
Eb
And so are you.
I want to amend my earlier statement.
Here we go. I'm not that evil,
C
Bb
G#
but I'm feeling evil today!
Outro 1
G#
Bb
G#
Bb
G#
Bb
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