The university has traditionally been the birthplace of bold ideas,
brave new concepts,
revolutionary movements dedicated to man's
never -ending quest for knowledge.
And today, here in
America, students are reaching new highs.
in a movement bent upon the discovery of more
advanced even daring new ways to
expand the minds of men.
Every good hard -working student
in our colleges
today has joined a great new movement
which is currently underway.
You take
anything at all that strikes your fancy.
Fry it.
Bake it.
Soak it.
Chop it up in tiny little pieces.
Put it in your pipe.
And smoke it.
At
MIT, the kids are puffing on bananas.
I said bananas.
I mean bananas.
And at
Purdue, the kids are puffing
on petunias.
Potted petunias.
Good old petunias.
And we just heard those
Ivy
Leaguers down in
Princeton
Living in their ivy -covered halls
Spending all their
carefree hours
Smoking the ivy right off the walls
Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop,
bop, bop, bop, bop
The football player used to
be the campus hero
That kind of feeling now is terribly passé
The hero now is the bloke who finds
something new to smoke
That's how it is today.
Boom it like a chew, boom it like a chow.
Let's try dog food, wow, wow, wow.
We here in
Florida, the students are
on grapefruit.
They're chauvinistic,
so they smoke grapefruit.
We here at
Notre
Dame, that mighty football college,
they're smoking footballs,
oh, leather footballs.
And we just heard a week ago in
Minnesota, when the sun came up
and rock the dawn.
You could see students
by the hundreds
smoking up the dean's front lawn.
Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba.
Why, it's the biggest thing since
Harvard made goldfish.
Because all the college
kids throughout the
USA
are marching along, singing a song.
Smoke something new today.
Hail to thee, dear
Alma
Mater, grateful will I be for the ways of good,
clean living that
I learned with thee.
Any time the road grew weary or the work seemed dull,
I'd be in the dormitory stoned out of my skull.
We here at
NYU, the students are a nutmeg,
old -fashioned nutmeg.
Hey,
Merry
Christmas!
We here at
Yale, the fellas go for pink carnations.
You know those
Yale men!
Pink carnations.
We here at
Georgia
Tech, they stormed a loser's goalpost,
and when they eventually broke it,
it fell to the ground and
a voice cried out,
Let's grind the damn thing up and
Smoke it!
Ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba
Fisherman's making every
father feel terrific
When he considers how
much loot he has to pay
So that his dear little sprout can
have a chance to cry out
Hip hip hooray, hip hip hoo ray
I smoked something new today!